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If you are a child or young person

If you are a child or young person worried about what’s happening at home

Are you worried about domestic abuse or think you may be in an unhealthy relationship? Help and advice is available.  Sometimes it is difficult to say what is on your mind but talking to someone can help you cope with difficulties.

Keeping Safe

It’s important to think about keeping safe and safety planning. 

Who can you talk to? 

There are a lot of places to get support and advice on domestic abuse, such as talking to

  • a teacher
  • tutor
  • parent
  • relative
  • school nurse
  • counsellor; or
  • an adult you can trust

It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and finding the right person you feel comfortable with is important too. Finding the right time or words can be difficult so you might want to write down what you want to say. Here are a few suggestions:

I’m really worried about my mum and feel scared when the fighting starts

I’m finding it hard to concentrate in school because I’m worrying about problems at home

Some children and young people tell us it’s sometimes easier talking to someone who doesn’t know them.


If you are a young person worried about your or someone else’s relationship

What is domestic abuse?

Domestic abuse is about one person misusing power and control over another; it is not normal and never okay. If you are in a relationship with someone, you should feel:

  • loved
  • trusted
  • safe
  • respected; and
  • free to be yourself.

If your relationship leaves you feeling:

  • scared
  • intimidated; or
  • controlled

it’s possible you are experiencing domestic abuse.

Sometimes domestic abuse can be hard to see, especially if you have strong feelings for that person. It can take many forms. It could be physical, emotional, financial, and sexual.

Some examples could be:

Emotional abuse:

  • telling you that nobody likes you
  • making you stay away from your friends and family
  • someone telling you not be friends with certain people,

Physical abuse:

  • hitting you
  • kicking you
  • pulling your hair
  • burning you

Financial

  • making you give them money
  • forcing you to pay for everything

Sexual abuse:

  • making you do anything sexual that you do not want to. This can include watching pornography

If you have selected a lot of ‘yes’ answers to the questions, and someone you know demonstrates a lot of those traits, this is an indicator that they may need to consider the impact of their behaviour on others. It is important to point out that we all have a tendency to carry out some of these behaviours, whether done infrequently or in a light hearted way. However, if they are being used to control another person, this could be an indicator of an abusive relationship.

Safety Comes First

If you or someone you know is in an abuse relationship there are few things you can do:

  • talk to someone – do you have a safe adult that you can talk to who you trust? This may be a teacher, relative or a support worker.
  • Call the Wales Live Fear Free Helpline.

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